Happy Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary, friends! Celebrate God gloriously assuming Mary body and soul into heaven, but be careful with your theology. Somehow everyone’s Marian theology gets a bit sloppy around the Assumption (is it the heat?). No, Mary isn’t divine. Not even a little. And no, Mary and Jesus were not the only two people to never have died. Jesus definitely died; it’s a key plot point in the Bible and a major source of Christian theology. Yikes.
Anyway, take a moment to consider the dogma of Mary’s Assumption, get yourself to Mass, and joyfully celebrate the wonderful things God has done for us in Mary!
I WAS LIKE
Complaining that young people today waste too much time on such “futile things” as the internet, cell phones, and tv shows (oh no, he knows about Netflix binges), Pope Francis recommends that we spend less time with technology and more time building relationships with God and one another. Read more here.
WHEN I TELL SOMEONE THAT I STUDY THEOLOGY AND THEY MAKE EXCUSES FOR WHY THEY HAVEN’T BEEN TO CHURCH IN A WHILE
Why you don’t get to Church more often is between you, Jesus, and your priest. You don’t need to explain to me.
damn the pope about to preach some sick verses
the guy beatboxing behind him
YO YO YO Pope P-Money Francizzle in da HOUSE (of God),
Layin’ down some psick Psalms and some wicked Wisdom~
Old Gregory’s rhymes, they might leave you tired,
But just like that plainchant, my words are inspired
I’m dope, I’m the Pope, and you know I’m infallible,
Sayin’ a Mass in my alb, stole, chasuble
I got nuns in my posse and cardinals in my crew
We followin’ Christ, that most radical Jew,
The Son of God, the Way and the Truth and the Light
Second Person of the Trinity, you know he’s a’ight, we tight, yo
Teachin’ the catechism, no time for schism
Don’t like what I’m preachin’, check it out, no need to get mad again
I’m bloggin’ and tweetin’ God’s word from the Vatican
You diggin’ my beats, you think I got it goin’ on
Why don’t you check out the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John?
Or the writings of Augustine
He always bustin’
Out the rhymes
For the love of The Lord, he gave up all his good times
I ain’t done yet, but for now, I gotta jet
Can’t say when I’ll be back
Like my homeboy Christ, don’t know the hour or the day
Till then, pull out your rosary, read my encyclical, and pray
PEACE OF CHRIST
Someone send this to the Vatican. Now.
"A Pope Francis headline? He’s okay, right? He’s not sick or in danger, right?!"
"Oh boy, Pope Francis news! I wonder what he’s done or said now!"
"Wait, what just happened? Is this good? Bad? Does it change anything?"
"Ooooh, I can’t wait to see how people react to this news!"
"Wait, HOW are most people interpreting this information?? That’s (a) not what he meant! (b) not how Catholicism works! (c) not theologically possible!!"
"Well I guess I’ll be explaining this a few dozen times over the next few weeks."
Repeat approximately monthly